I have been soul searching for a while now. I have gone through countless other life changing situations.I made it through so, I will not harp on it. I have decided that I am not going to leave my destiny in anyone elses hands.I have been applying for jobs for 8 years come June 2010. I resigned from teaching then it was all down hill.
I have tried phone service, Herbal Life, Satellite TV online and off line. I took a grant writing course, real estate course. I have applied for mentoring jobs ,substitute teaching jobs, teaching assistant jobs and on and on and on. I don't know whether it is the economy or the you are over qualified syndrome at work. I have to admit some of it was due to the fact you need money to make money. I could not take the real estate exam because I needed money. I thought of sacrificing and doing it anyway. I was afraid to risk it because,Iwasn't sure anyone would hire me after I spent the money. You have to work under an agent for a year before you can become a broker.
I have been to so many job interviews and even second interviews. I would build up the confidence only to be let down. longevity in a position can be as harmful a brevity. This was a new concept for me I just always believe in loyality. Now I don't whether it helps or hurts.In between all of this I decideed I wanted to be on my own. Then I would be afraid to try things then I would be afraid not to try things. It was a vicious cycle. I would go from being confident to feeling rejected.
I have decided I can not be afraid of success. I do on the other hand have to find a middle ground and get a job doing something to support my family, while I contemplate what I am going to do to become prosperous.
I know I can excell at many things I just have to make some major decisions.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Soul Searching
I am surrounded by thick clouds that I can't see my way through. I am walking through quicksand pulling my legs through feeling really strange. I must go on because I have people to take care of. My mind in a blur. What is happening I have lost everything I had. I experienced all of this 4 years before the economic down turn. I have to say I was taking it personally.
I felt like most of the things I was going through were caused by the actions of others. I was going through foreclosure because my agent stold my home owners insurance payment. I lost my job because my boss felt like the job was not a good match. The truth is I actually put myself in the position that allowed those things to happen. We all do we have to. We have to put our trust in others.
I trusted the man I thought I loved. I believed he loved me and that he would do what he said he would do.
I belisved I was a good person and that I treated people well , so I just assumed people would give me the same consideration.That is where I made my biggest mistake.You can not expect everyone to have the same morals and values as you do.
I had always believe in God .I followed the 10 commandments. There was a period in my life when I went to church every Sunday.None of these things kept me from experiencing trials. These trials were things I believed only I was going through. Well, everyone has their fair share of trials.
I am concentrating on me and what I need to do to get back on track and become more productive.
I guess you could say I am doing some soul searching.
I felt like most of the things I was going through were caused by the actions of others. I was going through foreclosure because my agent stold my home owners insurance payment. I lost my job because my boss felt like the job was not a good match. The truth is I actually put myself in the position that allowed those things to happen. We all do we have to. We have to put our trust in others.
I trusted the man I thought I loved. I believed he loved me and that he would do what he said he would do.
I belisved I was a good person and that I treated people well , so I just assumed people would give me the same consideration.That is where I made my biggest mistake.You can not expect everyone to have the same morals and values as you do.
I had always believe in God .I followed the 10 commandments. There was a period in my life when I went to church every Sunday.None of these things kept me from experiencing trials. These trials were things I believed only I was going through. Well, everyone has their fair share of trials.
I am concentrating on me and what I need to do to get back on track and become more productive.
I guess you could say I am doing some soul searching.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Who Is Responsible ?
I am 49 years old and I am looking for a job.I am a teacher I resigned from my position in 2002. I had a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I was teaching Kindergarten. I thought I was doing the right thing .The father of my children assured me, before I had the children, that he would be there to help me. Needless to say that was not the case. Being in my forties and married meant something different to me then it meant to him.This is the case all too often, when two people get together. I believed that because we were a little older things would be different. That was my first mistake. The reality that just because I believe or feel a certain way does not mean that those around me would behave the same way struck me.
I had been through similar circumstances I have 6 children these two were my fifth and sixth. I just knew that because we were older things would be different. I knew that no man that was forty years old could be so irresponsible. Well, I was wrong I had been married twice and left with the same result twice. I was left with the responsibilty of raising my children without a father. This is the case over and over again. There are millions of fatherless children in this country.
I honestly thought that my relationships would last and the men would actually be there.
When are we going to learn that we must be more responsible.I have never turned my back on my children. I will never understand how someone can just walk away from a child that they created. So many people look at whats going on in America and wonder why. Why are the children acting the way they are? Why so much crime? Why this?Why that? Look at the adults in this society. Thats why.
I had been through similar circumstances I have 6 children these two were my fifth and sixth. I just knew that because we were older things would be different. I knew that no man that was forty years old could be so irresponsible. Well, I was wrong I had been married twice and left with the same result twice. I was left with the responsibilty of raising my children without a father. This is the case over and over again. There are millions of fatherless children in this country.
I honestly thought that my relationships would last and the men would actually be there.
When are we going to learn that we must be more responsible.I have never turned my back on my children. I will never understand how someone can just walk away from a child that they created. So many people look at whats going on in America and wonder why. Why are the children acting the way they are? Why so much crime? Why this?Why that? Look at the adults in this society. Thats why.
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